Retail Therapy Shopping

De-cluttering – what to do with The Sexy Toys and Lingerie

DeclutteringAre you thinking of downsizing from the family home?  Or just de-cluttering I readiness for that one day in a few years move?  I have been motivated to de-clutter after some health scares and near misses that made me think life can suddenly be very short.

So whilst from time to time, I have gone through cupboards, drawers and the accumulation of stuff on the floor in the indoor garage that we use for storage of ‘stuff’, I have not really had a huge de-clutter clear out.  This week, I started in earnest.

I have actually de-cluttered huge amounts and other than the fact that I do have a little extra space in kitchen cupboards….you can hardly see any difference. I have a long way to go still – lots of little things lurking in stuffed and over flowing drawers.

Now there is one drawer that presents a problem.

I know we all have them.  The after dark drawer.

Sexy underwear The sexy nightie, the undercut bra, the skimpy clothing that my bulging muffin top wobbly tummy just won’t fit into anymore.  The suspender belt that would cut off my circulation if I wore it….well if I could get it up over my two thighs anyway.  The saucy outfit, the fluffy handcuffs and then….well… know……  Well I didn’t think the Op shop would really appreciate these donations and I couldn’t see taking other stuff… to the electronics area at the tip.

And  I can hardly ask my daughter,  “darling, I have a few things in my bottom drawer and hidden in the top of my wardrobe, that you might like to look through and see if there is anything you would like”.

So I was wondering how do women downsizing and de-cluttering dispose of their sex paraphernalia — and any all those items you have hidden out of sight.

I was thinking, if something was to suddenly happen to me, I don’t really want the children consumed in grief and clearing out your house, to find any sex items .  What would they think?  Oh my god, my mother had sex?  Oh my god, I don’t want to touch this – where are the rubber gloves?  Actually there might be some rubber gloves in ‘that’ drawer.

You may be thinking, “Who cares what my friends or children find in the house? I will be will be dead anyway.”

And of course, there is suitable timing.  Maybe you might need these sex toys and clothes into your 70 or 80’s.  But what does one do in the meantime?  Where do we keep these articles and when is the right timing to dispose – when we work out how to dispose – of our intimate behind closed doors life.

Perhaps we might ask a close friend let’s call them ‘Personal Item Eradicators’, to come over and clear the house after we die (or if critically ill in hospital/hospice).  Your Personal Eradicator could be given a list of items to be destroyed and their hiding places — you don’t want to be in intensive care screaming, “Top of the wardrobe in a black box!” You may find yourself been given a calming injection.

9324387_sWell back to my de-cluttering and wondering what to do with the skimpy clothing that I doubt my muffin top will be reduced anytime soon, to wear again.

So then, how will you dispose and when do you think is the right time to dispose of your sex toys and items of clothing?

Retail Therapy Choices of New Clothes or Undies

ShoppingOne of the things you don’t think about when you retire, is how much less of everything you need.  Now of course as baby boomers we are used to going without – well when we first married, we all made do with 2nd hand until we SAVED our money – I know it seems this younger generation skip the 2nd hand and saving part and just add to their credit card debt.

So OK, initially we did without, or 2nd hand until we saved, but then hey good times came, we led the way at breaking through the glass ceiling and when you do that, well you need the corporate wardrobe to go with it.  I love shopping. Shopping Centres, big malls, strip shopping centres, boutiques, overseas markets and shops….until now.

As a corporate business woman and baby boomer, I was used to having disposable income and as such always in a position to update my wardrobe each season.

Pick a scarfRetail therapy consisted of new clothes scarves,  shoes, and jewellery. Yes, I did need two wardrobes – one for more casual wear and the other for functions, special event clothes.

Now, now longer employed in the corporate career world, I find that I no longer flick through the catalogues or even look at advts that pop up in my social media pages of beautiful outfits, tops, skirts, dresses oh and shoes!

For me now it seems my retail therapy consists of replacing undies and bras. Because they wear out!!!! Mind you he following is a conversation between hubby and me:

Me- to Hubby: Can you hang the washing out whilst I am out
Later as we were going to get fish and chips down at Mooloolaba Spit – hubby’s suggestion
Hubby: I noticed when I was hanging the washing out that you have gone up in size in undies.
Me: Looking at said hubby with a withering not happy Jan look…..and Thinking: What the F@$^…
Hubby interprets look…and says….ummmm I was just pointing out…I would make a great detective
Me: I don’t need to you to observe and point that out. Now just drive and I will pretend you never said anything.

Hmmmmmm ARGH!!!! Now where was I in this blog post!!!!!!

Although I have culled my wardrobe many many times, to reduce the no longer needed corporate clothes, (donated to a number of op shops), I am still  left with lots of lovely clothes that will last for some time yet.

Undies need updatingUnlike my undies. What is it with undies?  They just don’t seem to last as long. Well maybe my extra bit of weight has stretched the elastic a little – but surely no….they just don’t seem to last. Oh well, at least I get to shop for something new!  In latest patterns and colours. And none of the bikini sizes – wow, did I really fit into them,  – but of course I buy the half brief hi leg – no not the full bloomer briefs and nor will I ever be!


OH….and the new bras?  Well, my need to buy new bras,  the bloody underwire breaks through and pushes and gouges into my skin under my armpits – nothing to do with my increased weight of boobs of course….just not like they used to make them!

I used to be photographed at many business events and always conscious and checking photos so that I would not be ‘seen’ wearing the same thing to the next function.  Nowadays after a lovely woman tapped me on the shoulder in the supermarket and said “excuse me, but do you know you have little stickers on the back of your top”……yes the 4 year old grand daughter had managed unknowingly to me, to ‘decorate’ by top with a range of animal and flower stickers….and of course sometimes I look down and see that I have been ‘babied’ with smears of unwanted lunch or sticky hands.

Retail Therapy for ClothesSo now, it is back to the wardrobe and as change of season is about to start, reviewing the clothes that I have and realising again,  that whilst I might like some retail therapy,  I really don’t need to go shopping! NOW I know and understand when you see ‘mature’ aged women shopping, out to lunch, organisation meetings, movies,  etc…why they are all beautifully dressed – they are getting value out of their clothes.  So if you see me in a lovely dressy outfit in the supermarket – you will understand I am trying to wear out some clothes so I have an excuse to buy something new.  In the meantime I must be off, I have a hole in the side of one undie and a couple where – must be poor sewing – the sides have become unstitched, so I need some new ones.

Of course, I do realise that I am saving the planet and climate change, by just recycling my wardrobe and not buying new and feeling very virtuous.   Hmmmm, who am I kidding! I miss Retail Therapy for clothes not just undies and bras! And for another day….the issue of the disposable income, and the outfit that you would suddenly appear wearing and to hubby’s question of is that new, one replied, oh this…, I’ve had this in the wardrobe for some time, you must have forgotten!

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